minor utterances

The pedestrian crossing signal turned green, and the people waiting at the four corners of the intersection moved forward.

I was walking north-east, and she was walking south-east. As we neared the middle of the intersection, I looked at her, and saw her looking back at me. My eyes flicked down to the asphalt, and then back up to her. For a second we were once again staring at each other.

She continued walking to south-east, and I continued walking north-east, and this brief moment disappeared, into memories.

My head has been spinning with ‘Yes!’ moments from reading Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I’m only up to page 52, but in these first 52 pages, I have read words that mirrored so many thoughts I could never put into words.

To make up for what is lacking in my life, I am finding connections and comfort in books.

Today I was reminded why I love Autumn so much. It was a blue dome day, with the occasional cloud dithering about. I fought away all worries that next week, or next month, or next year might bring. I wanted to enjoy today for what it is, and what it was.

Me: “Haha its interestin up to a point… But its kinda sad how humans have created this complexity.. How they get excited over a .1 increase in something… There’s gotta be more to life.. But we all need money to exist…”

You: ” O.o waw thanks for the insight…”

We had a training session at work today. By the end of it, I couldn’t help but wonder how humans have created so much complexity in this world. The saddest thing is, much of this complexity is necessary, from an economic point of view. At the end of the day, money really does make the world go around it seems.

I watched an episode of The Amazing Race tonight. The contestants travelled to Lithuania. I noticed the long shadows that were cast on the ground, and the brilliant blue sky. The contestants ran through the cobbled streets of Vilnius, and then later, through a rural area with curiously green grass. It seems that it was filmed during Autumn. The finish line of this leg was outside a windmill. Watching this episode set my imagination off on adventures in far off lands.

It was painfully apparent today how often I let certain opportunities that arise slip out of reach. Painful, because it is myself who stands by and watches; knowing full well what is in front of me, and that I should reach out and grab it with both hands.

Instead, I idiotically watch it go by - knowing what was there, and what now isn’t. And knowing that there is nobody else to blame.